Learning to Be Alone

Cool Down (2)

Often times life throws us curve balls. We can be skipping along one path holding the hand of a dearly loved friend or group of friends and all of a sudden find that we are at a fork in the road. To make matters worse, the road directly ahead of you is only wide enough for one person to walk on… which means that you have to walk alone.

The word that so many seem to be afraid of: Alone. Meaning no one but you. Party of one.

It can be a scary concept to grasp, especially if you genuinely love the company of other people. After all, it’s nice to have people to share life with. Part of being human is having that God-given craving for connection and community with other people. I’d be lying if I told you that being alone is the best thing in the entire world because, well, it just isn’t. Some of the most priceless moments we get to experience in life are those shared with others. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when being alone is enjoyable but it is when God unexpectedly changes your plans so that you are alone with Him that loneliness starts to seem like the chore you really dread doing.

I say chore because during that time, you truly are at work.

You’re doing you, learning all about your capabilities, your weaknesses, and building upon your strengths. But I want to share a secret with you: You’re not the only one doing the work.

God is working too, and a lot harder than you. He is actually handling the biggest task: Molding you to be ready for the next big thing.

Think of God as the coach and you as the boxer. You may have won your last match, but now you will be fighting someone with even MORE skill, even MORE tact, even MORE energy, and even MORE speed. You just won’t be ready for that right away and you certainly won’t be ready for it playing tag team with your buddies.

You have to test your own will power by training for the next big thing alone.

That means you have to master the training you are going through, the training God is carefully and tactfully assigning you to, before you are ready to fight the next battle. So please, don’t squander the time you have!

I want to encourage you to use this time of loneliness to the best of your ability by letting God prepare you for your next big thing in giving you time to grow stronger and wiser. Get on your knees and actively pursue Him in prayer so you can hear His voice clearly as he guides you during this time. When your human desire for connection and community arises, take that to the Coach(; He knows when you need the refreshment only Jesus can provide.

I’ve listed a few bible verses below that I’m hoping will help you along in this season of your life. I suggest writing the ones that speak to you down and keeping them handy. That way if you ever feel your thoughts begin to down spiral into a pool self-pity, you can refer to one of these for a boost of hope, confidence, and surety.

but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life. 

-John 4:14

For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. 

-Jeremiah 29:11-13

But if we hope for what we do not yet see, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know how we ought to pray, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans too deep for words. 

-Romans 8:26 

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

-Isaiah 41:10

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you 

-1 Peter 5:7 

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds 

-Psalm 147:3 

For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. 

-Isaiah 41:13 

The LORD is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed

-Deuteronomy 31:8 

 

If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also.

-John 14:3 

Use this time wisely friend. You are being strengthened, refined, and perfected as you even sit here reading this post! Make the most out of the time you have now, and surely you will find yourself expressing gratitude for every moment God worked on making you fit for the next stage.

 

 

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47 comments

  1. This is lovely! Walking alone is certainly scary and oftentimes difficult but I find solace in the fact that we aren’t REALLY ever alone. God is always right beside us, step for step! ❤ Great post! xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love this post so much!!! I had about a year and a half between being engaged and letting my now husband and it was tough at times. I wasn’t sure if I would meet someone and how I would ever get married! But I took that time to learn more about myself and to get closer to God! I wanted to fall in love with God and then be ready for whoever he brought into my life. It was such an amazing time in my life and I totally suggest this for every woman! Thanks for the encouragement you are giving others and I loved all the verses you provided!!! Keep the truth close by and always go back to God to find real truth!

    Liked by 1 person

    • What an awesome testimony to the way God fulfills his plans for our lives! How awesome that you can now look back and be grateful for that time. It just goes to prove that even when it seems like nothing is working out, God has a plan! Anytime, and thank you so much for your lovely comment!<3

      Liked by 1 person

  3. It took me a longggg time to be comfortable with my solitude. Some days, I still struggle. But I typically turn to scripture as well for comfort. Most people ask, how can you be alone with kids. I just tell them there is a difference between adult conversation and company vs. everyday responsibilities. Thank you for this!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Solitude is hard to enjoy sometimes, so I totally understand the struggle. Kudos to you for staying invested in the word through it all, i’m sure it’s not always easy with kids. & No problem, hope it could encourage you!(:

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Although I may follow a different spiritual path, I really needed to read this. I’ve come to a point in my life where I feel lonely: no boyfriend and no real friends. It’s been really tough and I’ve been telling myself that it’s because it’s time for me to move on to something else in my life, something greater, but it is nice to receive that affirmation from outside myself. Thank you.

    Natalie | http://nataliesalchemy.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

    • I find myself needing that same type of affirmation sometimes, so it puts a smile on my face to know that this could be that for you<3 I have faith that both you and I will not only make it out of this stage, but make it out more than ready for whatever is next! We'll both get through it girl(: I'm glad you were able to find & read this Natalie! Keeping you in my prayers xx

      Liked by 1 person

  5. This is an amazing post! I love your outlook on being lonely and using it for better. I know so many people who are afraid to be alone at all and I love your idea of embracing something that many are scared of.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Omg thank you! Yes! Some people look at me crazy when I differentiate between being alone and being lonely. I agree with you, being alone is all about recharging and refining! It’s an awesome time not a lot of people learn to take advantage of in it’s full capacity. Thanks for stopping by Ana!

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  6. Being alone can definitely be scary sometimes, thank you for sharing this beautiful post to show that we’re all often together in being alone xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am so glad that it could move you and that you were able to find it during this season of your life! It’s so cool when God guides us to the right places at just the right times. God bless & I hope you have a great weekend as well!

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  7. Great post. Personally I love my own company and enjoy spending a lot of time by myself but I absolutely hate feeling lonely. Being alone and being lonely are two different things. I can sometimes feel more lonely surrounded by people I’ve noticed. Great post it reminds us all to be strong and use our time to better ourselves x

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! & Yesss! Like I mentioned in the post, being alone can be enjoyable! So I totally understand what you mean about enjoying your own company as I am often the same way. It’s just when we are forced into loneliness that it can seem like it sucks. Thank you for reading<3

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    • That’s so awesome to hear! I’m glad that it proved worth the read. & No, thank you! I thoroughly enjoy your writings and I really hope that you keep sharing your work, your pieces are amazing(:

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