Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall
-F. Scott Fitzgerald
Being hard on myself has its perks and it has its downsides. When I finally build up the drive to work on quitting a bad habit, if I build up a good streak and ruin it, I am the absolute worst at forgiving myself and moving right along like nothing happened.
I can relapse in an instant out of laziness, convenience, or whatever else makes it acceptable in the moment yet afterwards I hang it over my head and wonder if trying to stop the habit is worth it anyway. It’s such a suffocating, growth-stunting mentality and it isn’t healthy at all so lately, I’ve been working on changing my perspective.
As fall (and nature in general..) display’s perfectly, change isn’t instant. It’s not like when the tree’s notice winter is approaching they just shed all of their leaves all at once. They take their time. One leaf falls off here, another there, and one by one the tree’s let go of the dead leaves as each one dies. It takes patience, but eventually all of the leaves are shed. I’m learning to have the same patience with myself.
If we embrace our personal process of change, keeping the end goal in mind, the hiccups along the way simply won’t matter. No amount of guilt or shame changes the past but progress is progressive. No matter how small or slow that progress is, it still leads you to a better version of yourself.
To those like me, who may struggle with letting go of guilt, shame, or are just too darn hard on yourself, choose to progress. Even if you fail sometimes, choose to keep making progress. Some changes need an entire season dedicated to them to fully take place.