Learning to Choose to Nurture Over My Nature

Recently, I experienced an exchange with my manager that kind of spoke to me. I needed her insight on how I should respond to a certain situation. I knew in my mind that I could attempt to resolve the situation on my own but I wanted to take an extra step by getting her input first. My manager always encourages me to ask questions and elicit her input anytime so this was one of the few times I wanted to take her up on her offer.

Right when the work week started, I received an email from my manager that was sent to everyone on my team about an urgent situation. This situation needed to take top priority and she let everyone know that she was going to be focusing on it until resolved.

When I messaged her, it was the middle of the week. I asked her if she had just a few short minutes on her hands so I could ask her a quick question.

One thing about my manager that I know and love is that she is a dedicated problem solver. Her dedication to resolving issues begins the second she is notified one exists. She is incredibly sharp in that way; if anything is brought to her attention- it gets handled.

When she gets a “quick question” kind of request, she is almost always available no matter what is going on because she likes to tackle. Sometimes I wonder if, in her mind, the definition of “question” is “downtime” hence causing her to be so responsive.

This time, her response was “No. I’m sorry, I’m hands down with *insert urgent situation*. Please message *Insert her essential replacement here*.”.

Okay, so you’re probably thinking “Duh! She told everyone she’d be focusing on it!”. And you’re right, but the thing that spoke to me about it was that she truly did not buckle on her word even though, it is more in her nature to “handle it”. She rejected her nature to nurture the urgent situation at hand.

Lately, I’m finding that I am in desperate need of rejecting my nature to nurture important areas of my life.

One thing that I find fascinating about personality tests is that they have the ability to detect your “nature”. When I say “nature” I mean, how you are prone to respond if you did not think twice.

Recently, I saw a Facebook post that stated that attributing your behavior to your personality type can actually be toxic and detrimental to you. The more I thought about it, the more I could appreciate this truth.

I could choose to live a life of complete solitude and blame it on my introverted nature but, that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t suffer dire consequences as a result. In the same way, someone could blame their constant need to be around others on their extraverted nature. Yet, this too contains its own set of consequences.

My nature says that if it was possible to live a happy and wholesome life acting out on my most primitive instincts, I would gladly live that life. Nurture says that if you want a happy and wholesome life, you’ll reject your primitive instincts more than you would succumb to them.

Life isn’t Burger King; We don’t get it our way. Truthfully, we probably end up more fulfilled for it.





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